Not long ago, Wendy in her RTB blog said:
Sure, the concept that everyone has a “soul mate” is terribly romantic, but it has a tendency to perpetuate what I call “lazy romance.” Instead of showing two people learning to love and understand each other, the author so often just whips out the concept of soul mates and voila! Instant romance! Who needs characters learning to understand and respect each other when Fate destined them to be together for all time? Why take the time to get to know each other and fall in love when it’s already written in the stars?
Yeah, I can see how the concept of soul mates can be seen as to literally cut short the process of falling in love but I also believe Wendy and others might be missing the entire point of how the device is used in many modern romances, the most notorious example of which is the current Dark series by Christine Feehan.
I believe what they might not be considering is that maybe it’s the fantasy of someone having to work at the relationship in spite of their initial resistance to doing so that makes it such a powerful and popular device in the first place.
Think about it. What if that male animal we’re stuck with, who is notorious for not wanting to work at a relationship, any relationship, HAS to work at one to survive? Work at it as in nurture it and spend time on it, etc., etc., etc.
Is any red-blooded woman out there going to sit there and tell me that isn’t a powerful fantasy? That the thought of uber-alpha Gregory in Dark Magic having to reconsider how and why he does things because Savannah is his lifemate isn’t a powerful image?
I do know what both of you are talking about and in some cases in books I even agree with you wholeheartedly. Thing is, I’m not sure I do in Feehan’s case, though. Primarily because she does make them work at it so much. It isn’t easy for them all all. They have to make it work to survive.
And I’ve seen that same thing happen in several other’s author’s books who also rely on the soulmate/lifemate device, so I really have trouble with the concept that it’s “always” a lazy approach to use.
The problem I have with the soulmates theme is lack of choice. The characters have no choice and are stuck with the “mate” Fate destined for them.
To me, that’s just not romantic. I like characters who are strong and independent, who make their own choices (good or bad). Soulmates takes the most important decision of all out of their hands.
Which probably explains why I avoid Feehan’s work at all costs huh?
Actually, it’s the soul mates in Feehan’s books that I was thinking of when I agreed with Wendy. It just does seem so lazy and I never actually believed in the romance when I read the books of hers that I did.